What Happens When You Find Out Your Friend Is An Abuser

Or should I say, ex-friend.

Photo from Unsplash.

We all thought she was crazy. At least, that was what he told us. That they broke up because she was crazy. And at face value — she had always had a wild streak. Maybe the partying got to him. Or maybe she was getting a little too friendly with other guys at kickbacks. Or maybe, since it was a high school relationship after all, we should all just accept the fact that Cole* (name changed for privacy purposes) had grown as a person and was different now. Clearly it was Kristen’s* fault. Right?

Truthfully, when I moved in with Cole and his new girlfriend, I had completely forgotten that he and Kristen had dated, even though at some point in the distant past, she had been my best friend. I didn’t choose Cole and his girlfriend as roommates…. the situation just kind of happened, and I was mostly just glad that unlike my previous set of roommates, they both actually talked to me and kept the blinds open during the daytime so we could see the sun. My previous apartment had felt like a crypt, so I didn’t care that my new roommates’ dogs constantly upended the trash, that the two of them were super glommy on each other, or that I became immediately embroiled in the daily domestic drama of two people who hadn’t been together long enough to comfortably live in the same apartment. It…