What Does Your Felt Hat Say About You?

A good hat says it all…

Ares Gabriel
3 min readNov 27, 2023
Photo from Unsplash

There are few things I like more than a good hat. A bad hat, perhaps? A slightly malicious hat like the infamous hat made of a witch skin in What We Do in the Shadows? I’m just a big fan of headwear. Now, my favourite subset of this has to be a wide-brim felt hat. I have a few, but none replace my trusty weatherproof black felt hat. It’s comfy. It’s warm. It matches absolutely everything.

Undeniably though, like a lily stuck to one’s lapel, hat colours seem to inadvertently indicate a sort of code about who you are as a person. Afraid of making a blunder and accidentally signaling friendship to the wrong sort of people? Terrified that your interests might be misinterpreted if you wear the wrong hat colour? Aren’t we all. Read more on this hat code to find out which colour of felt hat might be right for you.

  1. Beige/tan: If you’re rocking a muted beige or tan felt hat, you’ve probably asked your hairstylist to do a “subtle blonde bayalage” at some point. You’re a little more on the conservative side, love your church group, and you definitely want to visit wine country with your friends (if you haven’t already). Your dog is your best friend, and you’ll fight anyone who says otherwise, which is a charming quality. This weekend, you have plans to watch a few Christmas romances and enjoy time…

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Ares Gabriel

Living a life of post-bohemian heartbreak so you don’t have to. Amateur bone re-articulator, professional wit.