The Six Most Awkward Hugs

In no particular order, because they are all the absolute worst.

This must be some sort of hybrid hug, because I haven’t had this one yet. (Photo from Unsplash.)

I am not the most huggy person. Everyone in my family is full of demonstrative physical affection, but that isn’t my love language. It’s not that I hate hugging unreservedly… It’s more that it just isn’t my preferred way to show affection. I try to be mindful of everyone else’s love languages and react accordingly — I would never want to make someone feel bad for trying to give me a hug. But there are some hugs that are just too much to bear, and unfortunately I think we’ve all suffered them. Below is a comprehensive — but not exhaustive — list of some of the most terrible hugs, ones that will leave the recipient reeling and in need of some better physical boundaries.

The Christian Side-Hug

This one was very common in high school, when campus supervisors cracked down on PDA and everyone was just doing their best to fly under the radar. The thing with side-hugs is that the boundary is unclear. Does their arm go over your shoulders? Around the waist? The terrifying no-man’s-land in between? Are you an under or an over? Either way, you end up looking (and feeling!) like the very picture of those perennially awkward photos from when you were 12, and mom made you cuddle up to the gawky and weird older cousin for a photo. It’s all forced smiles and…