Five Halloween Costumes for Deeply Unhappy Couples
Every year it’s “sexy couple’s costume” this and “cute Halloween date” that, inevitably from those cute little couples that adopted a dog together during quarantine, and do Sunday brunch at each other’s parents’ houses on an alternating basis. But what about those of us who are tired and morose, stuck in hopeless relationships that we can’t quite bear to leave but don’t really want to be stuck in either? What kind of Halloween costumes exist for the terminally miserable? You deserve cute costumes too, even if you will just be sitting at home arguing over the merits of cult horror and whether to answer the door for trick-or-treaters or binge all the mini Snickers yourselves. Here are five ideas for couples’ costumes that may bring the spice back… Or effectively end your relationship.
1.Tequila and Pedialyte
Because it’s not really about compatibility. These two things only go together when you’re in a really bad way, and some relationships are like that too. The only good news here: Pedialyte actively makes you feel better, which is more than you can say about your other half at this point.
2. Process Server and Soon-to-Be Divorcée
Who needs the phrase “trick-or-treat” when you can simply say “you’ve been served”? Bonus points if the costume is just an elaborate front for actually…
