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A Cumulative List of All the Things You Will Regret Buying When You’re Broke

Cumulative, but not definitive.

Ares Gabriel
2 min readSep 10, 2021
Photo from Unsplash.

The unique feeling of dread when your bank account hits a solitary $1.87 and inevitably your debit card declines while you’re standing in line at the local grocery Wal-Mart at 3am trying to buy Skinny Girl Margarita mix and bottom shelf whiskey to make the most budget whiskey sour this world has ever seen is quite possibly one of the worst feelings in the world. Not that I would know anything about that.

In a down bad moment where you can’t even afford one of the gluten free packs of ramen and the options are to get glutened and incur hospital debt that will further tank your credit, or else go to bed hungry, you might enter a fever dream in which you begin to ponder all the things you shouldn’t have bought. In case you’re so hungry you’re at a complete loss for coherent thought, I’ve compiled a list of regrettable purchases for purposes of guilt and shame. Here they are:

21. the ninth plant you have taken home just to let it die in your apartment

20. handmade soap that is too pretty to use

19. colourful or novelty paper clips

18. anything you ever bought your ungrateful ex

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Ares Gabriel
Ares Gabriel

Written by Ares Gabriel

Living a life of post-bohemian heartbreak so you don’t have to. Amateur bone re-articulator, professional wit.

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